Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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