After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
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Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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