I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Pooping to opera.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize