I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
