New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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