I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize