IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
