It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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