i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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