if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
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its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
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So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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