Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Dignity is for republicans.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
how do you play pong handcuffed?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
