I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
