He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
