I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
