how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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