Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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