But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
