Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
