You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
