am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
