i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
He kissed a someone with a penis
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.