I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
No idea. I blame fireball.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?