Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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