I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
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I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
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Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.