just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.