I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
