This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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