Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
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I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
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I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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