I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize