Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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