Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
