I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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