He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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