Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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