P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
