because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
