Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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