Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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