Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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