hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
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Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
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Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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