I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
