thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
