You really coming over, don't trick.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Randomize
