did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
