I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
