is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
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