Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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