we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
