Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
where are my eyebrows?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
