I feel like I'm in dance class right now
This girl is more easily done than said...
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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