You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
