so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
