Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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