I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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