Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
