I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize