Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
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