so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
