Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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