the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
