Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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