just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
