She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
