For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
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Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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