Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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