I bet he comes in French.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
