Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
