We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
