you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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