i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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