Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
