i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
