No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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