Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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