I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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