if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
