She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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