she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize