Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
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Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
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What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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