giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
