I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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