i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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