nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
BRING THE BAGELS
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
