I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize