why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
