i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
