So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
