.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
